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When I lived in NYC full time a number of years back, I think about the times when I went out to eat at a restaurant.

Food not being one of my big priorities, it was in fact a CHEAP restaurant most of the time!

In New York, a fairly large percentage of the folks who work as waiters are aspiring actors. In all my years there, I don’t remember a single instance where one of the wait staff made an effort to find out who I was and what I did.

I take that back, maybe it happened ONCE!

In the last week, I have sat next to two people (one at the theatre and one here on the plane) who will probably end up putting money in my pocket.

I engaged each of them in conversation and, as “luck” has it, they may end up becoming clients. All I did was start a conversation, find out what they did, and then see how what I do may be able to help them get what THEY want in life.

One of the reasons that I think this works for me is that I’m not looking to find ways to help ME make more money. I’m looking for ways to help THEM make more money! It just so happened, that these last two folks could use MY services to help them. Win-win as they say.

Are you like me or the waiters in NYC? Do you find ways to speak to people when you’re out and about? When you do engage people in conversation are you REALLY looking for ways to help them or just help YOURSELF?

If it were to appear to either of the folks I recently bumped into that I was trying to SELL MYSELF, I think they would have seen through me. I expect they would have politely taken my info and then never contacted me again.

In one of the cases, I KNOW that’s not the case. One of the people has already gotten in touch with me and arranged for us to meet. The other person is still sitting next to me on the plane as I write this so I can’t tell you for certain.

What I CAN tell you is that if you look like you NEED business, people will RUN in the other direction.

I always give people my information and tell them if they are interested to contact me. NOT vice versa. I just don’t think that approach works. At least not for me.

I had a guy contact me recently. He said to me: “SELL me on your services!” My response: “Not a good match.” If I have to SELL someone then it’s not going to be good match. At least not for me.

Filed under: Ezine

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